Hey All,

I know it's been a while since I've posted here but I am working on a big project which I need some help with.

Some of you may have read some of my diary entries, some might not have. Basically, the entries are my memories of my time served in Iraq as a US Marine in an mechanized infantry platoon called the Delta Outlaws.

After some of my friends and family back home read some of the entries, they thought it was good enough to possibly turn into a book. So, I started turning the entries into something that resembles a book. I have gotten a lot of praise about what I have written so far, however, its from friends and family so in my opinion, I believe it is a bit biased since they may not be willing to give me the bad side of it.

So, this is where you all come in. I am going to post the stuff I have written so far to my diary, so I am gonna have to revamp my whole diary. I ask that yoy all either PM me or post to this thread whether you think it book material or not and give me a honest mature critique on it (what is wrong with it, what I need to fix, even suggestions).

To give you a little idea of what I am trying to do with it:

All the chapters are individual memories of what I experienced in Iraq in sequential order. I in no way want to make it political. The story is supposed to be about a company of Mariens called the Outlaws that become a close knit family. It shows the good and bad sides of the war through my eyes. It's a bit graphic but I don't want to hold any part out because I believe it is necessary to portray every aspect of the war. I have only written 60 something pages and if I get a good amount of positive responses and good critiques, I will finish it off, publish it, and then post it all here.

The link to my new diary/book thread is:
http://www.realityport.com/forum/cnd...ed=1#post16463

Thanks in advance for the help.

Rob

(P.S. MS9or any mod, if you ever read this, could you please delete my old diary that doesn't have "Diary/Novel" in the title.)

not read it all yet but i'm definately going to

I remember reading your previous memories and they were awesome (think i said it at the time to :P

So definately a must read for me, i'll get back to you tomorrow when i have chance to read it all thoroughly mate and GL

Rip

I have yet to read any of your writings, but I have them bookmarked now. I will get back to you when I get a chance to take a look. Personaly I think it sounds like a great project, but as you requested I won't hold anything back on the review. Good luck with it!

Thanks guys and please, don't hold back any criticism you have. I need to know what I have done wrong and need ot fix. I really appreciate any help that I can get.

Just a friendly warning - dont post them all if you want to make a book for sale as posted on the forum could mean that you are allowing it to be in the public domain.

I remember a certain Jamie Oliver cook book doing the rounds as a pdf file and no one buying the book because of a leak and it been in the public domain

I have read chapter 1 and bookmarked the page and like so far what I am reading so well done

Thanks Sally.

I know about not posting anymore. It's only the first 60 pages or so and I won't post anymore. Plus, if I ever get a publishing deal, I will most likely erase either the whole diary entry or at least change the title to something else so it's not easily googled.

Thanks for the advice and let me know what you think.

Rob

I think Sally makes a great point. One strategy to deal with plagiarism is called a "poor man's coypright." It involves printing a copy of everything you've written and mailing it to yourself. Then, don't ever open the letter and you have a dated record of when you wrote it should you ever be in court.

As for your story, I think I have read all of it so far. What's good about it is how real it seems and how brutally honest it is. You don't need to make it political but it needs some sort of "hook" or angle to get a publisher's attention. When I read it, it seems a bit disjointed so maybe you should add dates or add a brief reminder in each section of where the unit is, what town, and what the mission is or something???

Thanks Epic for the advice.

Actually, I already did another version of the poor man's copyright. I emailed it to myself and I also posted it here. The post here has the date on it so I am fine. Plus, I read that to get your material officially copyrighted, you make yoursefl seem like a noob to the publishers.

The other thing is that I have actually revamped everything I wrote to make it a bit more readable and more easily read. I also put things in sequential order. I can't post exact dates to each chapter because unfortunately my memory isn't perfect so I don't remember exact dates but I do remember the time frames and such.

I appreciate what you have to sya though and hope you reread what I wrote, you might enjoy it a bit more I think.

Hi Rob! I registered on this forum. Thanks for pointing it out to me. Anyhow, what I have read of your story so far has been very gripping. I will probably not send you anything else by PM regarding it, but I do want to say, I think you're on to something. To those of us without any sort of military background, it provides a good insight into what the life of a soldier must be. Also, it is evident from your words, that you really know what you are talking about. The details you provide sound most authentic.

Thanks again for sharing your experience with us.

Sincerely,
Donald

Lol the last chapters funny :P

Very good read so far mate and like donald mentioned it is very gripping and informative.

Keep it up and dont forget to sing my copy

Rip