NEVERDIE

I just got moved down to solitary, at least it doesn't stink so bad down here...

Last night was bad, real bad....
I returned to my cell after a pretty tense day in the Yard..
An ex cop, Mrs Emma Peel showed up and she was on a killing spree trying to escape quickly. She didn't expect the backlash from the inmates, a few of whom she was responsible for sending down..

Lucky for her, she's actually a tough cookie..

Anyway, so I got back to my cell and found that it had been ransacked and my cell mate's innards were strewn all over the place . He was gutted like a fish, entrails hanging from the window bars...

At first I couldn't figure it out, this was more brutal than anything I have seen before.. But then a ripped up tube of toothpaste caught my eye..

It's where I hid the key to the Gates of Hell..
It hit me like a ton of bricks, one of the devils minions must have seen me steal the key!

I ran out of my cell back to the yard dodging spray from Emma peels RJ Mentor Edition and started slamming into the inmates in the yard, I smashed so many of them I practically started a riot, until I grabbed the arm of this one old fuck and his head spun 360%. He tried to to bite my jugular vein like a Frenzied baboon.

I shanked it through the eyeballs and with a bit of help from some stray gunfire from Tzepu I was able to take off it's head with a meat cleaver..

I had to gut the damn body to find the key it had swallowed.. Now everyone in the prison thinks I'm a nut..
They wouldn't know a demon if it cut their balls off!!!
I was so jacked up, the CO's took me down with a tranquilizer gun.

So here I am now in solitary, lucky I have a TP chip hidden somewhere the sun don't shine, so I just had time to go unlock the gates before anyone noticed I was missing from my cell...

I guess no one will be able to get through now until tomorrow, but that's the least of their worries
I just hope they take advantage of the free ride..
It ain't gonna be pretty when the sick evil prick figures out
His security has been breached!!

I reckon maybe 3 weeks is about all we got before we're gonna need a massive supply of hell coins to pay the Teleman...